The Cured Pork Loin

Let me start by saying that I shamelessly copied most of the steps from this site. Here is what I did.

1. Wandered aimlessly through Safeway looking for curing salt for about 20 minutes. Turns out it is in the "We Don't Sell That" aisle. I then spent an additional 10 minutes mulling the relative benefits of salt with iodine versus without. Since I had no idea what the implications were of the choice, I decided to go with the one in the red canister. I can't remember which that is now.
   
2. Unpacked, washed, and dried one pork tenderloin.
   
3. Dropped the tenderloin into a plastic freezer bag with a half cup of salt and a tablespoon of brown sugar and mixed it up well.
4. Let this sit in fridge overnight...at least 24 hours or so. The result is a pretty unpleasant looking tenderloin floating in swamp of salt turned pinkish by pig blood and water. When I do this again, I am going to figure out how to elevate the pork so it stays off this horrific looking shit.
5. Removed the loin from the salt, washed it again, rubbed it generously with brandy The recipe calls for cognac and I am sure that is better. I got confused in the liquor store and asked for brandy by accident. Brandy is much cheaper anyway.
6. Rolled the pork loin in Herbes de Provence. I'd probably skip the HDP and go with another spice blend or nothing at all. In the end, I don't think they added much.
7. Mummified the loin in cheese cloth and tied it inexpertly with kitchen string. This was another area of potential improvement for future attempts. My trussing folded the semi-pliable loin and really detracted from the sausagey linear look I was going for.
8. Let sit until the loin had a little give but wasn't overly hard. These were the official instructions.
   
9. Stress over the inexactness of the recipe and bacteriapocalypse unleased by an incorrect guess at doneness. Try a slice when you are not having guests and have no where to be.
10. In the end, I thought this was slightly saltier and uglier than my prom date - which is saying a lot. I'd make it again with some changes. I am just happy no one died.